Theatrical shock/ Help!

After the Member’s Only, reception, we spoke to the board member assigned to help us (whom we thought would be our director) and he stated that he would be busy with his own productions, and that we should either try and find a director or, “Direct the performance yourselves.” There it was, the part I had anticipated! I knew it was coming, I could feel it in my bones. Janet on the other hand was completely at a loss for words, and just looked at me dumbfounded. I think it took at least five to ten minutes for the redness to subside from her face and another fifteen minutes for her to be able to speak. When she did muster up some words they came out as just words, nothing I could make any sense out of. She looked at me and finally sputtered out, “But I have plans for this summer, I can’t direct this!” I told her not to worry, that I had seen this coming and would figure it out. I couldn’t let on that I was just as shocked as she was. I had to let her believe I had this all under control, even though I was feeling as though everything was spinning out of control. As we left the theater that night, for the first time in my life I felt like a walking contradiction. It was not a comfortable position to be in, but I somehow maintained my sense of balance and tried to keep my demeanor light and carefree, all while struggling with many conflicting thoughts.